Thursday, October 6, 2011

Feeling better, feeling positive.... But watch out !

The last thing from me really was me moaning about being ill, feeling tired and saying I had glandular fever, prognosis was wide open.
I am glad to say that over the past couple of weeks, determination, hard work, and not giving in has paid off. I am rising above it, with very little effects of it left now. Very little discomfort except for the pain in my lower left abdomen which still loiters. Tiredness during the morning and daytime has improved no end, it is only the end part of the day now that leaves me lacking energy and enthusiasm.

With regards to work, I think it is fair to say that since my return, my attendance has been faultless, however there are other aspects of that which I will come back to in a bit. Not missed a day, and I truly think that it has (as expected) played a significant role in my recovery from both the illness, and moving on from mums passing. So I am glad that the issues I faced at work were overcome on my return, and things have been put back to normal. Again I will come back to this part soon. Main thing to me is, I'm back to being Michael Snasdell again, and not some messed up empty shell of a man who is struggling by day to day.

That might sound a little harsh, but the further I move away from the event horizon of mum passing, and me returning to work after so long, the more I realise how messed up things were getting for me. I lost my identity, direction and drive in life, and just hung in there for the sake of others, which is not healthy for anyone I have to say. And if you are in this situation, I would strongly recommend asking how others are perceiving you and your state of health and mind. Many commented on me, and I listened to...... none!

However.... moving on. We are in a different place these days, so lets be positive here and look forwards and not back. I'm making a comeback here, and am determined to make things different this time around. Almost like an alcoholic getting sober. This is me getting sober so to speak.

So, lets backtrack a little shall we, and cover off a few areas that I have previously touched on in this entry. Firstly, the fiery return to work. It wasn't so much about slipping back into my role, but more about being dragged through a bush backwards and baring my heart and soul to prove I deserved to keep my role in the company. I should add, so there is no hard feeling, that none of this was brought on by management so to speak, obviously they play a role in the matter, but the rest was instigated by 'others' who felt differently about what I deserved. Going to extraordinary lengths to make life hard for me. Screen prints of Facebook, photos of Blackberry Messenger status's all used in an attempt to prove me dishonest, and unworthy. Well...... it didn't work, so quite frankly bollox to you, and f**k you for trying that.

However, there is a little twist. It would appear that the infighting didn't end there, and there is now another issue within the machine. Timekeeping!
Now having finally received the summaries and official closure of my own disciplinary, it is truly refreshing to know that I am in NO WAY involved in the current issues here. I know from my own opinion, and from speaking with my manager that there is NO issue with my timekeeping or recording of my activities at work. I swipe in, swipe out, complete timecards honestly, and record what I do daily.
Sadly the same cannot be said for all. With some taking breaks without recording them, slipping in late and claiming they were on time, or failing to work their scheduled hours, but claiming a later finish time than actual. The dumb part about all this is that there is comprehensive CCTV here, remotely monitored and reported on, a swipe system which records people in and out of the building, although it is obvious that some have decided to bypass this by using unauthorised access points to avoid being seen leaving and entering, as well as trying not to leave a record.
Once again, sadly due to 'persons' constantly discussing other staff members with their management, a storm is coming.

I guess I'm saying too much really, so should be careful, but at the end of the day, a line has been drawn in the sand, and a warning shot has been fired over EVERYONES head. So anyone one not seeing their part in this, and not realising their wrong doing deserves everything coming to them. Its either ignorance or arrogance, more likely arrogance if I'm honest, but we shall see. 3 days after the warning shot was fired, nothing seems to have changed for some... And that's REALLY all I'm saying on it now, other than 'watch this space'.

Phew I am really going on today, but it feels like a massive release I have to say. Things building up inside of me, annoying me, winding me up, and in the latter case, amusing me somewhat.

OK, I will leave it there for now or I might wear this keyboard out. So I will end with, with everything happening around me, the motivation within me to achieve, and the new lease of life... I'm finally enjoying looking forwards to what lays ahead. A smoother road for me for now, and possibly a pretty rough one for others.

Watch your back people.... instead of mine for once ;)

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